


Sunday Conversations

by alynwa



Series: Song Stories [10]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April gets a call from her mom and talks to Illya about it.  Based on the song "Love Hurts" by the Everly Brothers.  Lyrics after the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunday Conversations

Illya was only half – listening to April talking on her bedroom phone.  They were enjoying a rare weekend together and had been napping after April had made a large breakfast and Illya had suggested a way to burn off some of those calories that involved returning to her queen – sized bed.  When the phone first rang, he was alert instantly, thinking it might be Napoleon calling one or both of them into HQ.  But when April shook her head to his wordless question and began saying “Really? Oh, I’m so sorry” and “How could he?” over and over again accompanied by a bunch of _tsks_ and _uh huhs,_ he quickly lost interest and pulled the sheet over his head.

 _I am glad Napoleon has not called, perhaps we will be able to enjoy this Sunday relatively undisturbed._ He had to admit though that he felt better for having told his partner about his growing relationship with April though he still didn’t know if April had enlightened Mark about it.  _It really is between the partners, but I am curious…_

His train of thought was interrupted by April lifting the covers to join him underneath.  “I wish _I_ could have bailed on that conversation.  That was my mom calling to tell me about my cousin Betty from Seattle.  I’ve mentioned her to you before.”

Illya pulled her closer so that his arms encircled her as she laid her head on his chest.  “She is the cousin a few months younger than you that got married last year, _da_?”

“The very same.  When she became engaged she also became insufferable.”

“How so?” 

“She thought she had it all over me because she was engaged and I was still single.  I would get letters and phone calls from her prattling on about how wonderful Donald is, how _attentive_ Donald is, how happy he makes her and how they were soulmates meant to be together forever.  And, of course, since I couldn’t tell them the _real_ reason I wasn’t married or engaged, my whole family began to think of me as a spinster.  Even my mother started bugging me about getting married because she was sick of hearing about Donald from her niece and sister.  _Ugh!_ ”  April mimed sticking her finger down her throat and gagging.  

The Russian graced her with a large smile and kissed her nose.  “Is that what that call was about?  More bragging?  Is Betty pregnant now?”

“No.”  April began to giggle.  “Noooo, she called to tell me… _hahaha!”_ She dissolved into hysterics.  “She called to… _Bwahahahahaha!_ ”

Illya uncovered their heads and moved them up until he was able to lean on her headboard.  He had begun to chuckle.  “Would you mind telling me what is so funny so I know why I am laughing?”

“Donald is… _hahaha!_ Donald is leaving her!  For a _man!”_ April sat up and worked hard to wipe the smile from her face.  Straightening her back, she looked around at her lover and announced, “That’s not funny.  I should feel badly that she’s been deceived by,” April raised her hands and made air quotes, “the ‘love of her life.’”

“But you do not.”

April started laughing again so hard that she leaned back onto Illya, who adjusted to accommodate her.  With tears streaming down her face, she hiccupped and tried to explain herself.  “She just always wanted to be married.  She would scare away men because she would be talking weddings and kids on first dates!  I didn’t meet Donald until the week of the wedding.  We all got together for dinner and I noticed that he seemed to have homosexual tendencies.”

“Did you now?”

“I’m a spy, Darling.  You know as well as I do that part of Survival School’s seduction training was learning how to identify behaviors that might indicate that a man or woman might have particular leanings.”

Illya grinned.  “And you noticed Donald was leaning?”

“Like an oak tree in a hurricane.  I mentioned it to my mother who was horrified that I would say such a thing.  She made me promise I wouldn’t repeat it to Betty or anyone else in the family.”  She shrugged, “Hey, I doubted it, but I could have been wrong so I promised.  Well, now Betty knows what you and I know.”

His brows furrowed together.  “What do we know?”

“Love hurts, Darling, it can burn like a hot stove if you’re not careful and allow it to get out of control.  Or if your fantasies begin to cloud your reality.  That cloud _will_ rain on you one day.”  She started giggling again.  “Right now, Betty is getting _poured_ on!”

Illya placed his hands behind his head and regarded April with a measured glance.  “I did not know you are such a fan of _schadenfreude._ ”

“I don’t normally take pleasure in others’ misfortunes, Illya, but she tried to make me feel small because I’m not married.  I would never rub her face in it though; I’m not that girl.  I’m not cruel.”

“I am glad to hear it.”

She palmed his face and smiled at him.  “When I say we know love can hurt, I mean that we’ve learned the closer we get to others, the greater the chances that love can be used against us.  We have had to learn to separate, compartmentalize and prioritize our emotions, lives and duties.  Otherwise, I don’t think we could function.”

Illya turned his face to kiss her hand.  “I do agree with you.  May I ask you something?”

“Of course, Darling.”

“Have you told Mark about us?”

He noticed her flush slightly.  “No, Illya, I haven’t.  Talking about love hurting; I think my partner might have a bit of a crush on me and I’m not sure how he’s going to react when I tell him we’re sleeping together.”

“I did not realize.  Do you want me to speak with him?”

“Absolutely not, he’s _my_ partner and I’ll handle it in my own way in my own time.  Do you have a problem with that, Darling?”

Illya looked into her eyes.  “Not at all.  Truly.”

“Thank you, Illya.”  She yawned.  “I think I’d like to finish our nap.”

They slid down and as the Russian pulled the covers over them and cuddled her he thought, _I have a feeling that our relationship is going to cause problems in the future.  Chyort._         

**Author's Note:**

> Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars  
> Any heart not tough, not strong enough  
> To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain  
> Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain  
> Love hurts, ooh, love hurts  
> I'm young, I know but even so  
> I know a thing or two, I've learned from you  
> I've really learned a lot, really learned a lot  
> Love is like a stove, burns you when it's hot  
> Love hurts, love hurts  
> Some fools rave on happiness  
> Blissfulness, togetherness  
> Some fools fool themselves I guess  
> But they're not fooling me  
> I know it isn't true, know it isn't true  
> Love is just a lie, made to make you blue  
> Love hurts, ooh, love hurts  
> Ooh, love hurts, ooh, love hurts, ooh, love hurts


End file.
